Clueless
by Circeus
Summary: Armadimon, in the kitchen, with the squirt gun. [crack]


More crack from the Old Married Couple, with Thandi (author ID 1092334) in the role of the grouchy wife!

* * *

Had she seen him? No. She couldn't have, or she would already have kicked his armored ass into next week. He cocked the gun. Creeping up to the big target herself... Most. awesome. thing. _ ever_. A hit on Miyako... Gomamon would never hear the end of that one. He stepped around the corner of the counter and shot. The liquid trail flew through the air toward the back of Miyako's head. Miyako turned around at the sound of footsteps. She thought she felt something touch her head, but dismissed it.

"Armadimon! What are you doing here? Does Iori need something?" she asked with a smile that quickly faded when she saw what was in his paw.

"What is _ that_?" she asked, pointing.

Armadimon couldn't help the wide grin on his face. Or the twitches in his ears that betrayed the laughter he held inside. He gave a few pushes of his claw on the squirt gun's trigger, and small jets of water landed on the floor tiling.

"Armadimon! Stop making a mess!" she almost screamed as she went to fetch a towel to clean up the mess.

She came back and glared at the digimon.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Let's put it like this... I wasn't shooting at _ butterflies_," Armadimon managed. Then he just couldn't hold it in anymore at her puzzled look. He clasped his claws his paws over his muzzle and dissolved into fits of giggle, leaning against the counter for support.

"What did you do!?" she exclaimed and started to stalk around the apartment searching for what Armadimon had sprayed.

"Well, at least I wasn't marking my territory," the digimon answered between more giggling.

Now he understood just why Miyako could never have been his partner, even if she had tried to lift the digimental of knowledge back in the temple. The girl ran her hand through her hair and finally discovered what he had done.

"Armadimon! Why did you do that?" she screamed.

She snatched the closest thing, a box of Pocky, and threw it at him. The box bounced off his nose and brought him to a semblance of sense. He made a mental note that if that was the result he was going to get, he should make sure to do this more often.

"Well, I wasn't going to shoot at Iori, was I?" he deadpanned as he casually opened the box.

Miyako ran forward and snatched the box away from the armored digimon.

"Oh, but it's okay to shoot me?" she asked, tapping her foot, annoyed

"Street points," he shrugged. "I'm the first to manage it. Did you think we all were here for your cupcakes?" His mind backtracked over that. "Well, okay, we totally were, but there _ were_ other reasons..." he continued.

Miyako made a face, dumped the wet towel on his head, turned on her heel and left the room for the bathroom to take care of her hair. This would probably require a shower, she thought to herself about her date later that evening. Armadimon peeled the fabric off his face and stalked after her.

"What am I supposed to do when _ you_'re the one that doesn't even notice if someone just _ waltz_ into your apartment..." he ranted.

"I was expecting company. Besides, Otousan's here, it's not like anything's going to happen." _Unfortunately,_ she added in her head

"Well, something obviously did," Armadimon snickered, absent-mindedly following her in the bathroom.

Miyako started to peel off her shirt when she turned around to see him with her in the room. She blushed and promptly screamed.

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

Armadimon ducked out of the backroom just before the door slammed on his tail.

"_You're_ the one who started getting undressed while I was there!" he protested loudly.

"_You're not supposed to follow people into the bathroom!_" she screamed back.

She considered turning on the water to start her shower, but decided to refuse while the other was... there, and instead crossed her arms while her shirt lay crumpled on the floor.

"Well, never caused Iori any trouble! Hawkmon never comes along?"

"No!" she said, covering up her small breasts. "He's a boy! I'm a girl!"

"So? He's your partner!"

"No way! That's weird. We've established a rule of what's proper and we're both happy with it. He made it up!" she defended her partner and sighed.

She should already start her shower; her date would be here soon. Armadimon's eyebrow arched. He made a mental note to ask bird-boy about it and shook his head and his eyes fell upon the discarded squirt gun and his lips widened into a wicked grin. She would never forgive, but the gang would never forget. Armadimon recovered the weapon of mass saturation and walked for the sink. Oh bugger. The Inoue didn't keep stools around because Hawkmon didn't need them. Armadimon fumbled around until he finally found a bucket he could upturn. Meanwhile, he could already hear the shower shutting off. He had to finish this fast. He turned on the water and nervously filled in the plastic toy. Miyako hummed. Wait. Miyako never hummed! He grinned. He just couldn't stop now. Not after going so far.

After her shower, Miyako took out her sister's drier and attempted to use it to style her hair. Given its thin nature, this only caused damage and made it look ragged, but she was too rushed for time to notice. She took her time to apply make up so Ken would not take his eyes off her face. It was always a special sensation to feel gorgeous like that, and she practically pranced out of the room, eyes closed in delight. only be met with a strong spray of water in the face. Miyako shook her head and sputtered, bringing her hands to her face to clear off the water. When she looked at them, her hands were covered in a mess makeup. Her eyes locked on Armadimon as pumped his fist and couldn't contain herself.

"_ Armadimon!!_" she screamed at the top of her voice.

That proved to be a poor tactical move. Sharp as James Bond, Armadimon took aim and a fraction of a second later Miyako was loudly choking on the liquid he'd sent inside her mouth. He only realized too late, as her face's color turned redder and purpler with rage, the trouble he'd landed himself in. She lunged at him, her hands ready to crack his neck. The digimon ducked out of the way and bolted out of the kitchen, the girl in hot pursuit, dodging around furniture and hiding under tables. There was a light knock at the door, which neither noticed until it opened, leading the way for a well-dressed blue-haired teen. Armadimon saw his exit and raced for it.

"For the records, she looks great in a lilac bra!" he said as his body slipped betwen Ken's legs.

Behind him, an animalistic roar made the windows vibrate as the girl came after him in blind pursuit. Unfortunately for both of them, Ken was in the way. The bulldozer that was Miyako collided with the boy like a laser-guided missile, sending the confused pair sprawling on the floor of the hallway.

"Humm..." Ken cleared his throat. "Hi Miyako-chan."

All she could do was rhythmically bang her head on the floor.


End file.
